A brief preface...
I wrote this post a month or so ago. It is part reflection, part self-centred ramble, but I hope it explains where I've been, and is an indicator of the direction I wish to take with this blog in the future.
I am writing this after spending the morning in a bookstore. There is nothing usually notable about me in a bookstore; in fact, my body used to gravitate towards the entrances even when my bookshelves were bursting and my bank account was weeping. However, it had been a while since I had been in the store; I did not quite remember the titles like I used to, where they were, how they were stacked. It was strange because once, the store had felt like home and I felt at home in it, but this morning, wandering the aisles, something felt amiss.
I wrote this post a month or so ago. It is part reflection, part self-centred ramble, but I hope it explains where I've been, and is an indicator of the direction I wish to take with this blog in the future.
I am writing this after spending the morning in a bookstore. There is nothing usually notable about me in a bookstore; in fact, my body used to gravitate towards the entrances even when my bookshelves were bursting and my bank account was weeping. However, it had been a while since I had been in the store; I did not quite remember the titles like I used to, where they were, how they were stacked. It was strange because once, the store had felt like home and I felt at home in it, but this morning, wandering the aisles, something felt amiss.
This blog post is unusual for me, but I think it’s important. I have, and it pains me to admit, fallen out of love with books, with young adult, with all of that which I used to so wholeheartedly adore. I have not finished reading a young adult book in about half a year, and even then the books I have completed are far and few between. Though it pains me to admit this, I think I must, because as the modern philosopher of our generation Dr Phil says, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge". And Dr Phil is never wrong.
Part of the reason it was so easy for me to fall out with fiction is the changes in my life. Going into my final years of school and then transitioning to university took a toll on me in many ways, but most relevantly, it took a toll on my ability and excitement to read for pleasure. I found myself busy and tired and combating all the common ailments to the everyday person’s relationship with literature, and I hate to say that I fell victim to them, but I did.
However, the falling out has prompted me to this revelation, so I suppose from the ashes I rise? I do not know, ultimately, how helpful my months away from this world I used to love have been, but at least I’m here now, defibrillator in hand, zapping the chest of My Words Are Arrows.
Another thing I will address is my home within literature because as I grow and as I change, my place becomes less and less clear. I have, for the last ten years or so, found my home and heart within young adult fiction, and especially this blog has been dominated by my engagement with YA. I have built my brand on YA fiction. From a young age, YA offered me the kind of vast adventures, relatable characters, strong and intricate relationships that I wanted to see and wanted to read about. Young adult fiction became my passion and my pride, and I would show it off to all those I met, proudly reviewing and recommending and dedicating a lot of time to reading and writing YA fiction. And I swore I would never leave YA fiction because I had such a strong unwavering belief in and love for it. So here is where I make a declaration - I will never leave YA fiction, but I will not stay within its walls exclusively. And on this blog, from here on out, I will not be afraid to address books and works that lay outside the realm of YA.
I am in a strange place in my life right now. I am 18 years old, my debut novel came out three years ago, I am studying creative writing, but I am entirely lost and often sure I have already peaked. The world we live does not lend itself to creative writers anymore, female writers especially. However, I think giving up would be inconsistent with who I am, even after all this change. I also do not have a backup plan, so there’s that. But truthfully, I miss my home in the literary scene, I miss writing posts, and I miss tearing through books. So here I am, after months on my own, standing in front of my old place in YA literature, my new place in mainstream fiction, and I am back to stay, even if I have to work it out as I go.
I hope anyone who has kept up with this blog can bear with me, and I hope the new content I produce can appeal to a whole new branch of individuals! Also, for anyone new having a peek at my blog, I apologise for any cringey posts I may have made previously. And hopefully, I'll see you all soon.
I hope anyone who has kept up with this blog can bear with me, and I hope the new content I produce can appeal to a whole new branch of individuals! Also, for anyone new having a peek at my blog, I apologise for any cringey posts I may have made previously. And hopefully, I'll see you all soon.
